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Lucknow gets its own IPL team

2010-03-19T09:40:00.000-07:00

The surprise is over . Curtains have been raised . One of the 2 new teams that will join the IPL bandwagon in 2011 is Lucknow. Proud owner ? Who other than our very own Behen ji . What was her bid amount ? Well no one knows yet , Lalit Modi is still counting those 2 garlands of currency notes.But everyone is talking about it and 3 Reasons she got the franchise are

1: Two Huge garlands of currency notes are so much better than bank transfers n demand drafts
2: Poor representation of the SC/ST in IPL
3: Lalit(Modi) rhymes with Dalit

As to people wondering about the Home stadium. No,the home matches wont take place in KD Singh babu stadium since the last time it hosted any international match was when Back street boys were still cool. Matches will take place in the Bhimrao Ambedkar Raily Maidan or "BAR Maidan" as it will be smartly promoted by the pr team.Of course the rules will be a bit different .Any shot that hits one of the elephants will result in a citi moment of success (a wicket) and any shot that hits one of the statues of Mayawati will result in permanent ban of the cricketer from IPL. The uniform color will of course be blue and other teams like the mumbai indians & deccan chargers have been asked to find new colors as the blue color truly represents the legacy of behen ji. Name of the team is "Lucknow SarvSamajiks" because behen ji wants support of all sections of the society but 4 spots in the team are reserved for SC/ST players. To help these players compete with others ,Psychometric analysis of their runs will be done by Prometric and the scaled runs will be added to the team total.Going by the track record of Prometric we can expect delay of a month or two for the result of match. Ignoring the technical details ...People of lucknow are very excited and the tickets will be on sale only during the maha rallys of Mayawati which of course you will have to attend . People are calling this a collaboration of cricketainment and politics = Cricpoltainment ...engineered by our very own behenji.

Cricket turning into computer game?

2009-12-24T08:34:00.000-08:00

Another run feast over.600+ runs scored like a joke.Bowlers butchered around the park.Where has the good old competition between bat and bowl gone? Its not like I have something against boundaries being hit or balls disappearing out of the ground but its happening with such regularity now that it seems more like a computer game.You are reminded of EA Cricket and Brian Lara cricket where after a few initial embarrassing games we find the right timing and shots to hit 6 on every ball. International odi cricket is also heading that way soon. Soon people will get no thrill when a batsman hits a six ..it will be more like..ok so whats new ? Every year icc meets to save cricket by making it more interesting but it ends up making it more favorable for batsman.All the changes in cricket have been killing bowlers. Protective gears , Bowling limits ,Fielding restrictions , bouncer limits , powerplays , free hits ..they are just endless and to top them all now the batsman can decide when he wants to take the powerplay . I read the following future of cricket in a cricinfo comment and surely cricket might go this way

2010: The batsmen can set the field for 10 overs.

2011: Bowling zones will be introduced. 2 squares will be placed on the pitch (by the batsmen, of course) and if the ball pitches outside the square its a no ball followed by a free hit.

2012: Fielding zones will be introduced. Each fielder will stay in a circle of radius 4ft and one of his feet should stay in the circle when he fields the ball.

2013: No 2 consecutive balls will have a speed difference of more than 10kph.

2014: The bowler should mention which way the ball is going to swing/spin.

2015: All the bowlers in the world commit suicide. 11 Batsman make up the team and face a bowling machine instead.

Empower bowlers ...Save Cricket !!

Telangana Issue: My two cents

2009-12-22T09:35:00.000-08:00

-->We should not club the issue of a particular state with others by debating a generalized topic such as creation of new states. Every demand of a new state is unique and should be judged on its own merits and demerits.What stands true for Telangana may not apply necessarily to Gorkhaland and visa versa.

-->People should know that Telangana was supposed to be a separate state as proposed by the first state reorganization commission in 1953 .Even Nehru ridiculed the idea of a combined telangana and Andhra .But statehood of telangana fell prey to appeasement politics.Even then, Nehru called the formation of a united Andhra as a matrimonial alliance with a provision of divorce which meant that a separate telangana would be made if things did not work out.

-->On the question whether Smaller states provide better governance or not ,I dont think there is one simple answer.Uttrakhand and Jharkhand have performed much better than the states that they were carved out of since their formation.Simple ignoring the issue just because you think that it will become a trend is gross injustice to the people who are being neglected in the far off places in India. I dont know the ground realities of Telangana but i empathize with them because I have seen the huge difference in terms of development in my own state.I live in lucknow with all the modern world facilities available but people of Bundelkhand ,an area on the periphery of the state , have been living without basic utilities like water and electricity and it has been the case like forever.This is just one example of how we sitting in our living rooms watching the agitation and crying out "oh they will divide and destroy India " are so oblivious to the reality.

-->The thing is that issue of telangana should not have been ignored in the first place.The government by trying to indefinitely postpone the issue and then giving in to fasting tricks of the local leaders has opened up gates for similar agitations which is not good for the democratic set up.Such issues should be dealt in the assemblies and not on road with a "fast till death" approach.

Dravid you beauty!!

2009-11-16T06:36:00.000-08:00

Grey winter morning . Sun was feeling cozy in it's cloud cover but i was up early even though i didn't have college .Reason:Test cricket is back !! . It was nostalgic getting up early to read pre-match articles in the newspaper and then crawling back inside the quilt to watch the match. Indian batsmen helped consolidate that feeling by finding themselves in a very familiar situation of 27-2 and then even worse 32-4 . Stage set for a typical Dravid inning and boy did he deliver it in style. The whole nation has been going crazy over Sachin lately with him completing 17k runs in odis ,nearing 30k runs over all ,nearing 20 years in test cricket and probably any other record that you can think of . With Sachin assuming the position of God in Indian cricket people like Dravid are forgotten very easily and they still have to toil hard for any appreciation though criticism comes early targeting age and fitness. Today's inning was both typically crafty and strangely imperious from Dravid . Quintessential cover drives and aesthetically pleasing straight ones were accompanied by perfectly placed pulls ,cuts and aggresive footwork against the spinners . I dont know how many people enjoy it but his forward defense to the in swinging ball from left arm seamers is a treat to watch(The same delivery which was responsible for India tottering at 32-4). Had to miss a part of the inning due to some errands . Darn u CAT..but good news is that he is still not out and good for another double maybe....Keeping my fingers crossed .

When in a theatre....

2009-09-20T11:54:00.000-07:00

When in a theatre you will find .....

1. People who enter the theatre with almost all the food items on the menu of the cafeteria. Its not a restaurant people. (You make us hungry too )

2. People who think they won’t be comfortable unless they somehow rest their feet on the seat in front.

3. People who consider it mandatory to flaunt their new phones by playing a video song they don’t even want to watch.

4. People who will play the same ‘english’ song on their cell phone which is played during the intermission. We get it …you listen to Backstreet boys and Shakira.

5. People who will keep cribbing about how bad the movie is but will sit through the movie just because they have paid for it. Get out please …at least let others enjoy it. We will read your review on your blog.

6. People ….ok just Guys who will insist on getting the corner seats even though they are there with their male friends. Is it like holding pinkies of other guys ?…I will never know why people do it when it is surely not the best place to actually ‘watch’ the movie.

7. People who will crack their wise ass jokes in the ear of their friend but their real audience will be everyone around them specially the girls sitting at a distance greater than 5 rows and hence the volume of the joke.

8. People who when unable to comprehend the dialogues of an English movie will start their “funny” background commentary which will be appreciated by all others who are facing the same problem.

9. People who assume the role of mentor of the hero whenever he finds himself in a romantic situation. It is not an interactive porn game guys….he will not do the stuff you wish you could do with her.

10. People who carry fancy phones but are unaware that It comes with a silent option which is supposed to be turned on when in theatres.

11. Last but not the least people who notice others instead of watching the movie so that they can finally post something on their blog .!!

SuchSearch

2009-08-14T08:47:00.000-07:00

Whether Google search makes us smarter or dumber is a much debated topic but query suggestion tool of Google helps us see what kind of stupid things people actually search .You just have to type a few random words in google and it will give you suggestions some of which will have you in splits . Following two searches i made on a friends a suggestion and just take a look at them ....

11 Rules of life

2009-08-08T13:10:00.000-07:00

These following 11 rules are a real eyeopener.They go around in emails attributed to Bill Gate's speech in some school but actually they were written by Charles J Sykes. Whoever the writer maybe the following rules are a dose of reality for everyone.

Rule 1: Life is not fair -- get used to it!

Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping -- they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

For Mr. Mulayam Singh Yadav

2009-04-12T13:57:00.000-07:00

Thank you Mr. Mulayam Singh Yadav, Ex Chief Minister of UP for once again giving the whole world a reason to doubt about the existence of grey cells in the people of UP . Well having elected you, our leader three times ,we must surely believe that you represent us better than anyone else (maybe Mayawati is the only good competitor). Your latest manifesto for the Lok Sabha election 2009 which wishes to ban computers , English , stock trading , use of machinery in agriculture etc . is surely unique and interesting . You should at least be applauded for not being repetitive and boring like the other parties. But somehow it has become the latest joke all over and that too on our expense .Then stuff like this is not unexpected from you. In your previous regime you successfully demolished the credibility of UP Boards by allowing self center examinations.It seems you have lost the map and are confused between forward and backward directions .I dare to wonder if this is the reason why UP is ranked #1 in the least developed states(some people might disagree on that but who cares for the number game right ? we are surely up there ). I don’t understand how banning computers and English studies will help cope unemployment but then what do I know about governing the biggest state of the country (thrice ). I don’t know what really happened when you were the defense minister of India but am sure you must have insisted on Indian soldiers fighting with bow and arrows. Sir I am not picking on you but you have really stood above the crowd this time. I am tired of seeing my state as the land of ram mandir dispute .I am tired of seeing Rahul Gandhi have meals with people below poverty line , I am also tired of celebrating mayawati’s birthday on such grand scale just because she belongs to a certain caste. I am tired of having no one worthy enough to choose. So much for the largest democracy of the world . So much for the right to vote. So much for Aamir’s campaign of ‘SACHE KO CHUNE , ACHE KO CHUNE ‘. This will be my first vote in the lok sabha election and I wonder what are the prospects of it bring any CHANGE. Surely the prospects aren’t very bright .

First Post

2009-04-12T13:38:00.000-07:00

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